Thursday, February 14, 2013

Ain't That the Truth

While I can't take credit for what you are about to read, I have to say it's true. I want to ask, "Why, when you are young, doesn't anyone warn you about menopause or what it's like getting old?" but I know that the answer would be that we just wouldn't pay attention to it anyway. We don't worry about our 40s when we are in our 20s. That is SO far off, we thought. I don't need to know about any of that NOW. I'm too busy having fun. Yeah. Sure. But, now, well that's a different story. Now it's too late. It's happening and there's no stopping it.

On a semi-related note, while I probably didn't think about my 40s when I was 20 something, I somehow feel like my 20s were just a few years ago! Maybe that's a good thing. Means I'm still young at heart. Right? Not that I'm grasping at my youth, clawing my way back . . . yeah, I'm going with young at heart.

Anyway, the following was sent to me in a "joke" email. Too bad it's not really a joke!

Whether you are pushing 40, 50, 60 (or maybe even just pushing your luck), you'll probably relate.
Mid-life is when the growth of hair on our legs slows down. This gives us plenty of time to care for our newly acquired mustache. 
In mid-life, women no longer have upper arms, we have wing spans. We are no longer women in sleeveless shirts, we are flying squirrels in drag. 
Mid-life is when you can stand naked in front of a mirror and you can see your rear without turning around. 
Mid-life is when you go for a mammogram and you realize that this is the only time someone will ask you to appear topless. 
Mid-life is when you want to grab every firm young lovely in a tube top and scream, 'Listen, honey, even the Roman empire fell and those will too.' 
Mid-life brings wisdom to know that life throws us curves and we're sitting on our biggest ones. 
Mid-life is when you look at your know-it-all, cell phone carrying teenager and think, 'For this I have stretch marks?'
In mid-life your memory starts to go. In fact the only thing we can retain is water. 
Mid-life means that your Body By Jake now includes Legs By Rand McNally--more red and blue lines than an accurately scaled map of Wisconsin. 
Mid-life means that you become more reflective: You start pondering the 'big' questions. What is life? Why am I here? How much Healthy Choice ice cream can I eat before it's no longer a healthy choice?
But mid-life also brings with it an appreciation for what is important. We realize that breasts sag, hips expand, and chins double, but our loved ones make the journey worthwhile. Would any of you trade the knowledge that you have now, for the body you had way back when? Maybe our bodies simply have to expand to hold all the wisdom and love we've acquired. That's my philosophy and I'm sticking to it!


  1. Sore boobs, dizziness, memory? Those are my current issues. Sucks, man.

  2. Night sweats are the worst. And for me they are sporadic. I had them consistently for a couple of months, then they stopped all together. Now they are off and on. And mood swings. My poor husband. I have to say though, that my body is in good shape compared to what's said above about middle-age spread. I'm in the best shape of my life actually, because I work out every day. I wish I had started working out when I was in my 20s though, and not just a few years ago! I am seeing signs of sagging skin even though I see muscles too. Depressing.

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